Shock, I know I don't post so close together any more with my blog posts but just been thinking over some things, things that have been said and even things that are not said. ( Other people have conversations in their head right? ;) )
I was pondering over some of the things I say to my eldest, when sometimes I completely forget some of the issues she has. I know that makes me sound like a horrible parent but lets go into my shoes for a moment. I have a 9 yr old girl, anyone that has dealt with girls knows they seem to hit their tweens before they are even tweenagers! sometimes it is hard to remember that she is only 9!! and only really just 9 since her birthday was in October. Her issues apart from her eczema and any allergic reactions and any swelling are completely out of sight, out of sight out of mind is the saying right?
So.. when she can't hear what i'm saying even though i'm stood right behind her? for some brief times I go mad especially if i feel she is ignoring me, It takes a while to realise hold on she does have an issue with her left ear, it means if she is concentrating on something else, tv, minecraft etc etc then she might not hear me or hear me clearly. Sometimes she has to say Mum I can't hear you! Not sure if this is related to her hypermobility, it was never decided what was wrong with her hearing it was just .. something, something that won't go away. Not severe but enough to sometimes cause issues and it does wax and wane with severity. ( blame allergies there for possible glue ear on top) It is easy to forget there is an issue especially since she has no hearing aid or anything. Also come on which 9 yr old doesn't sometimes want to ignore their parent? they are in that tricky phase.. or is it just mine ? :-p
Realised these last few days again I was being a little harsh on her, every morning esp with the lights on she is struggling to open her eyes, I wasn't very nice thought she was just milking it a bit not wanting to possibly do anything just getting up grumpy etc.. when it dawned one me, the muscles in her eyes are not working as they should! whoops.. no wonder she is struggling as her eyes are not adjusting. ( as optician said, her eyes are not adjusting as quick as they should when she takes off her glasses etc so still blurry) takes quite a while until she is able to adjust and its taking her to need her glasses more. Possibly thinking of one of those wake up lights that make it more natural way to wake up? and she wants a clock in her room so really will kill two birds with one stone!
You have to really balance yourself as a parent in this situation, you have alot of factors to consider, especially when she is in "pain" you have to take everything on face value sometimes quite literally, you can tell when madam is in pain, her face shows it all, especially how tired she is, not that she will say she is tired, when do children ever admit to being tired? the dark rings are a dead give away! but since there is nothing visible sometimes I feel the mean parent, due to not being able to do much sometimes its well, tough! I have given meds, I have done cuddles and heat pack and sometimes i have to go away, that.. is horrible, i was never one for cry it out and can't stand listening to my children crying as because as it should it cuts through me! especially when in pain! this is where i wish i had someone i could message, call, ask, is this "our normal?" I have support groups I am on, but they don't always have the answers or things get distracted and we end up talking about something or someone else, which yeah is fine, but doesn't always help the original poster! I have to also realise that madam.. does not want to miss school, she loves school and learning, miss brain box. It's when i feel mean for sending her in struggling but i know whilst there she is learning but distracted as well, most of the time!
I know the title of the post suggests cute! .. i suppose the cute is when i forget things, or the little quirks we have. She stated last week about a fairly new bed and mattress, I hate my bed it doesn't let me sleep......, No love... your bed is not to blame its your body not getting comfortable! silly and its better then the last mattress.
I have to say though she had a really bad back last week and beginning of this week, but you can tell she has gotten better, why? she is laughing and joking and being silly. something she hadn't been, as of course she was in a lot of pain. These are the things I have to take away the good days, the happy laughing moments. The moments she loves my cooking ( safe dessert anyone!? ) and just moments we can laugh together which i want to do more.
There is a lot of learning as a parent, and even more as a parent trying to help a child with chronic pain and problems, I know we are fortunate she is very clever and she does have good days, very grateful and these are things I need to remember when having the down moments, the frustrating days, the days we can't do anything to help.
Just think.. not everyone has things that show on the skin, there are alot of invisible illnesses, some people have good and bad days, and they can be the same DAY!! you can get up fine and go to bed a mess, I have seen it, witnessed it and lived it. 20 mins into a walk a ankle might go and thats it you are buggered. We need more compassion and understanding in the world especially with the times ahead. So just some thoughts if someone seems "fine" to you, doesn't necessarily mean they are.
