Over the last week I have started to write this blog post 3 times, all under different names, why have I not finished one yet? (until hopefully this one lol) I just don't know how to get the words out of my head without sounding too strange. Alright we know I am strange strange is good right?
the last few weeks have been manic, to the point I feel like crawling into a hole and possibly staying there till things blow over. I wish that was completely possible but alas with two children hubby and house to run it makes it impossible!
It has been hell. One thing after another and I know they say these things come in 3's ( and i do believe that for the most part 3's or 7's ) but seriously... it needs to go away NOW!! there is coming to a breaking point with me, I am not sure i can handle much more and I am being brutally honest there. I am feeling very strained in alot of levels and finding it hard to communicate some of these reasons. I just feel so out of sorts!
Madam beautiful determined madam, has had one thing thrown at her after another and I really wish I had that magic wand so I could take stuff away even just for a few days. It breaks my heart to see how she is struggling. From those that know us and know the blog, will know she has been suffering from IBS issues for over a year, treatment has been on and off and I largely put down her issues to her diet so hence we took out wheat completely and now maize out completely. However the damage had already been done from little man's birthday where i made a gluten free cake etc but it was not maize free and caused reflux issues cramps etc. During half term she had gluten free fish fingers.. and i can pin point then when she was hurting and cramping.. since then she has been severely constipated. ( yes yes we British don't usually talk about something like this but sod that! people need to talk more!! )
We had an appointment booked with a GP so we could discuss getting madam a referral to a gastro specialist and or dietician. I can say now we have one.. but they way we went about it.. wasn't the route I was expecting! when we had the gp app booked it had been 11 days ( we think as not fully sure I don't follow the 9 yr old to the toilet any more) since she had, had a movement. Yes eww if you don't want to read close the blog page. GP immediately phoned the hospital as she had already been on meds to help ( things we had at home! ) and nothing was helping. We had one complication though, little man was getting over chicken pox!!! which is a tale in itself since he had them everywhere! (literally) but alas.. we had to drag him to the hospital too.. thankfully he was mostly scabby.. but it added on extra precautions and measures at the hospital. ( side room, no tv.. bored children anyone!!)
We were told then madam should really have been on long term meds since last year, something I am not impressed with! all those incidents could have been avoided and possibly this bad one. Over the next week it was very hard going, having to go back when she started throwing up. The things we have to do as parents, like trying to decipher what on earth she was throwing up. (turned out it was her lunch from 8 ours previous) Ended up seeing the gastro specialist who put her on a range of meds and one strong one.. something coloscopy patients get... even then it took a long time to work!
I wish I could say things were getting better but atm they seem to be slowing down again. Yes we are now under a gastro and will be under his clinic in a few weeks but I have no one to ask for help unless you include the gp? haha. To top it off shes hurt her knee at PE in school, usually happens when she has over done something though she is active sometimes things are too much and last night due to hobbling home, her ankle couldn't cope and she has now sprained that!! Honestly, I am not sure if I could make it up or not. Her teacher was in disbelief that she has done something else on top of the rest of the crap shes dealing with! Hell I am sure she didn't plan any of this I promise..
I don't like saying sometimes I have children with special needs as some wont see it as that, though the joy of invisible illnesses is that you don't see the issues madam does have, the pain the struggle she faces. Why? most of the time she gets on with it. at 9 years old she copes better then a hell of alot of adults. She takes it in her stride and she is bloody intelligent to boot. (no not just proud mum saying it) It is shocking how much she is still achieving. I am so so proud of my baby, my heart breaks as she is struggling with pain and discomfort and things she shouldn't have to deal with. I am not sure how many people realise the strain it has on the parents, when the meds are not working, when you are sat just wanting a minute hearing your child crying with nothing, nothing you can do. it is soul destroying.
I like to say I am strong, determined, we get on with it here. We plod on. but weeks like these just really show you who you are. What kind of parent you are and how you face the world. I want to liken myself to some Warrior Britain of old I am certain this is now how I come across unless in a mood heh.
I knew this year was going to be interesting, I was hoping in better ways, not just more issues for the children. If i knew what was up with little man as well i would talk about that too. (referal to a pead done via the school who had a occupational therapist in!) and if you start looking up what they said it brings up scary things so as my friend says i really need to stay away from Dr Google! ( I am trying honest!!)
Roll on July... could really do with this family holiday now!! (Or that wand ;) )
No comments:
Post a Comment