Shock, I know I don't post so close together any more with my blog posts but just been thinking over some things, things that have been said and even things that are not said. ( Other people have conversations in their head right? ;) )
I was pondering over some of the things I say to my eldest, when sometimes I completely forget some of the issues she has. I know that makes me sound like a horrible parent but lets go into my shoes for a moment. I have a 9 yr old girl, anyone that has dealt with girls knows they seem to hit their tweens before they are even tweenagers! sometimes it is hard to remember that she is only 9!! and only really just 9 since her birthday was in October. Her issues apart from her eczema and any allergic reactions and any swelling are completely out of sight, out of sight out of mind is the saying right?
So.. when she can't hear what i'm saying even though i'm stood right behind her? for some brief times I go mad especially if i feel she is ignoring me, It takes a while to realise hold on she does have an issue with her left ear, it means if she is concentrating on something else, tv, minecraft etc etc then she might not hear me or hear me clearly. Sometimes she has to say Mum I can't hear you! Not sure if this is related to her hypermobility, it was never decided what was wrong with her hearing it was just .. something, something that won't go away. Not severe but enough to sometimes cause issues and it does wax and wane with severity. ( blame allergies there for possible glue ear on top) It is easy to forget there is an issue especially since she has no hearing aid or anything. Also come on which 9 yr old doesn't sometimes want to ignore their parent? they are in that tricky phase.. or is it just mine ? :-p
Realised these last few days again I was being a little harsh on her, every morning esp with the lights on she is struggling to open her eyes, I wasn't very nice thought she was just milking it a bit not wanting to possibly do anything just getting up grumpy etc.. when it dawned one me, the muscles in her eyes are not working as they should! whoops.. no wonder she is struggling as her eyes are not adjusting. ( as optician said, her eyes are not adjusting as quick as they should when she takes off her glasses etc so still blurry) takes quite a while until she is able to adjust and its taking her to need her glasses more. Possibly thinking of one of those wake up lights that make it more natural way to wake up? and she wants a clock in her room so really will kill two birds with one stone!
You have to really balance yourself as a parent in this situation, you have alot of factors to consider, especially when she is in "pain" you have to take everything on face value sometimes quite literally, you can tell when madam is in pain, her face shows it all, especially how tired she is, not that she will say she is tired, when do children ever admit to being tired? the dark rings are a dead give away! but since there is nothing visible sometimes I feel the mean parent, due to not being able to do much sometimes its well, tough! I have given meds, I have done cuddles and heat pack and sometimes i have to go away, that.. is horrible, i was never one for cry it out and can't stand listening to my children crying as because as it should it cuts through me! especially when in pain! this is where i wish i had someone i could message, call, ask, is this "our normal?" I have support groups I am on, but they don't always have the answers or things get distracted and we end up talking about something or someone else, which yeah is fine, but doesn't always help the original poster! I have to also realise that madam.. does not want to miss school, she loves school and learning, miss brain box. It's when i feel mean for sending her in struggling but i know whilst there she is learning but distracted as well, most of the time!
I know the title of the post suggests cute! .. i suppose the cute is when i forget things, or the little quirks we have. She stated last week about a fairly new bed and mattress, I hate my bed it doesn't let me sleep......, No love... your bed is not to blame its your body not getting comfortable! silly and its better then the last mattress.
I have to say though she had a really bad back last week and beginning of this week, but you can tell she has gotten better, why? she is laughing and joking and being silly. something she hadn't been, as of course she was in a lot of pain. These are the things I have to take away the good days, the happy laughing moments. The moments she loves my cooking ( safe dessert anyone!? ) and just moments we can laugh together which i want to do more.
There is a lot of learning as a parent, and even more as a parent trying to help a child with chronic pain and problems, I know we are fortunate she is very clever and she does have good days, very grateful and these are things I need to remember when having the down moments, the frustrating days, the days we can't do anything to help.
Just think.. not everyone has things that show on the skin, there are alot of invisible illnesses, some people have good and bad days, and they can be the same DAY!! you can get up fine and go to bed a mess, I have seen it, witnessed it and lived it. 20 mins into a walk a ankle might go and thats it you are buggered. We need more compassion and understanding in the world especially with the times ahead. So just some thoughts if someone seems "fine" to you, doesn't necessarily mean they are.
Saturday, 14 January 2017
Sunday, 8 January 2017
Happy new year! Hello 2017
Hello 2017! ( nearly put 2007 then lol my times have changed since then!) we are a week into the year! children and hubby have already been back to school for some of the week and I suppose life is getting back to normal after christmas, depending on what you might call normal!
The house still looks like a rubbish/ toy/ food bomb has gone off! not helped by the fact every time we go out to shop, be it top up, food shop in general or a wander we are finding bargains! (whoops) though the freezer is full.. the cupboards are full which is nice, we don't have to worry about food for the time being which is always good! all i have to do is think of meal plans! We visited a wholesale yesterday which does food after their best before dates, some are a couple weeks others are years! though as you should know, best before is merely a guideline and really the food is not going to kill you! Safe to say we have enough cereal for a while! (even enough to bake with whoo!). We have bought enough Christmas things in the sale to make next Christmas look like a wonderland! ( poundland 25p items! lol ) and have already bought a couple of presents.. ( i know i know) but for a change it feels like and prepared!
After all we have no idea what this year brings, madams dla is up for renewal and as much as her health isn't in a good place I am not confident it will get renewed. Trying not to dwell too much on that score as it is later in the year and alot can change between now and then! but atm she is not in a good way. Before christmas her back was hurting and it has starting hurting again, all the way down her spine and the muscle on either side and seems she has some swelling at the bottom. Just what we need she is feeling very off side and very grouchy! which is completely understandable but it makes being a parent very hard to deal with! she is not a teenager we shouldn't have to deal with this kind of strops yet. I miss my happy smiley girl! As atm it is just one thing after another and it is alot to cope with.
Speaking of health. I have been discharged by the counsellor, as we concluded after 2 apps and in third that my depression is not solid depression but a cumulative effect of everything I am trying to cope with. I have a very supportive and loving hubby and family even if we are not close in terms of miles we have a good relationship ( aslong as we don't discuss the dark side!! ) and I have friends i can connect with or who drag me for coffee ;) not that i am complaining! I feel I am "ok" and the counsellor is writing a letter to the doctors to express that the right course is to make sure madam has a main consultant who can over view everything! instead of us having to nit and pick with so many different people who can't help with other bits! Fingers crossed when I go to the drs they will be accommodating.
In the mean time we are currently looking at ideas for holiday places in France! as we need something to look forward to and we are dying to go back again! and sooner we book the sooner we can save money for it and potentially do more. Though last years chilling out was very nice!
As well as organising family visits! Think this year will be just as busy as the last!
More adventures!!
The house still looks like a rubbish/ toy/ food bomb has gone off! not helped by the fact every time we go out to shop, be it top up, food shop in general or a wander we are finding bargains! (whoops) though the freezer is full.. the cupboards are full which is nice, we don't have to worry about food for the time being which is always good! all i have to do is think of meal plans! We visited a wholesale yesterday which does food after their best before dates, some are a couple weeks others are years! though as you should know, best before is merely a guideline and really the food is not going to kill you! Safe to say we have enough cereal for a while! (even enough to bake with whoo!). We have bought enough Christmas things in the sale to make next Christmas look like a wonderland! ( poundland 25p items! lol ) and have already bought a couple of presents.. ( i know i know) but for a change it feels like and prepared!
After all we have no idea what this year brings, madams dla is up for renewal and as much as her health isn't in a good place I am not confident it will get renewed. Trying not to dwell too much on that score as it is later in the year and alot can change between now and then! but atm she is not in a good way. Before christmas her back was hurting and it has starting hurting again, all the way down her spine and the muscle on either side and seems she has some swelling at the bottom. Just what we need she is feeling very off side and very grouchy! which is completely understandable but it makes being a parent very hard to deal with! she is not a teenager we shouldn't have to deal with this kind of strops yet. I miss my happy smiley girl! As atm it is just one thing after another and it is alot to cope with.
Speaking of health. I have been discharged by the counsellor, as we concluded after 2 apps and in third that my depression is not solid depression but a cumulative effect of everything I am trying to cope with. I have a very supportive and loving hubby and family even if we are not close in terms of miles we have a good relationship ( aslong as we don't discuss the dark side!! ) and I have friends i can connect with or who drag me for coffee ;) not that i am complaining! I feel I am "ok" and the counsellor is writing a letter to the doctors to express that the right course is to make sure madam has a main consultant who can over view everything! instead of us having to nit and pick with so many different people who can't help with other bits! Fingers crossed when I go to the drs they will be accommodating.
In the mean time we are currently looking at ideas for holiday places in France! as we need something to look forward to and we are dying to go back again! and sooner we book the sooner we can save money for it and potentially do more. Though last years chilling out was very nice!
As well as organising family visits! Think this year will be just as busy as the last!
More adventures!!
Thursday, 15 December 2016
December 2016
Wow where has this year gone?! i know i know everyone always says it and sure i said it at the last end of year blog in 2015. But last blog i wrote was in September!
Little man has settled very well into school and has now started reading! though not as fast as what his sister did but still very impressed with his progress so far! me being the over anxious person I seem to be (or everyone else thinks i am) was worried he could be like me and be dyslexic. Obviously there is lots of time yet for this to happen or come apparent but for now I am calm, he is writing well considering his very hypermobile fingers and we are just monitoring it all. He is not as tired as i thought he would be, to be honest.. he is still up at the crack of dawn, he goes to bed at the same sort of time. He is playing rugby tots regularly at school, a follow on from when he did free sessions in pre school. He has made friends and is generally doing well!
Madam, well her headaches which she was suffering with at the start of term have really settled down now, which i am super glad about, though we still have flares it does seem to be noise related but her teacher came up with a solution that madam and another child can say a code word and the rest of the class will quiet down! Still suffering of course with her joints and ibs issues, though we seem to have stumbled across that she suffers with maize/ corn products! which cause cramping, where as wheat causes bloating. so no more sweetcorn for her! which is a bug bare as its cheap and easy to put in alot of meals. But not much we can do there its just madam and her issues.
Currently having more problems with her back which she claims feels like jelly but i am wondering if she is growing.. and if her back could be hypermobile. Like the rest of her. GP has written back to the physio.. but I can't see much happening there! physio only wanted us to see her again when madam hit puberty or her next big growth spurt! would like to note though, it is not stopping her in regards to her school work! We were told at parents evening that she is being placed on the gifted and talented register for her reading and more then likely her maths! Maths we had to have serious words with her teacher with as madam had a meltdown over being bored at school! So now they let her do the work and more thankfully! and we have alot of books at home. ( wish i knew where she got it from me and her dad are hardly good at maths!) But we are so proud and I am so glad that her issues don't stop her from achieving in school. It doesn't mean much being on the register just that they will make sure she has what she needs to be challenged. Reading they are setting up a specific reading group for children like her. Maths i'm not so sure but sure it will be more on the lines what they are doing already!
As a family we had another quick pop over to France!! for hubbies birthday, after last years, if we all remember i had that short stay in hospital with my appendix! ... (whoops) and couldn't do anything for his birthday. so we made up for it this year! it was great, only a day trip into Calais! shopping and just walking around town exploring. It made a lovely change! and hope to do it again! Euro shuttle was great and def an option for our next visit, which we will probably do for our holiday again in 2017!
Finally had it noted that I am hypermobile, though no one has done official testing, i went to the drs over pain in my hands, esp as my left hand in particular, the thumb hyper extends and it makes it very difficult to do the usual every day things, like chopping veg! holding a book! spoke to gp who when i fisrt said just promptly showed me that her thumbs hyper extend ( whoopie for her! ) told me at my age !!! ( wth i'm 30!!) there isn't anything they can do! .. hrrm sure there is i said i'm hurting its difficult to do things, so she played around with my hand, said my thumb joint is rather loose, well duh its hypermobile, and promptly did a test that showed i have an issue with tendons in my wrist.. well that was a new one!! should get better but currently it feels in a steady decline, pain more days i do have supports but next step would be a steroid injection, though aslong as it worked better on me then it did on madam's knee. Also i have reynaulds .. nothing serious there just my hands are affected by the cold, feet too, but as far as i've seen they don't go blue unlike my fingers and don't struggle keeping heat! These are things I can deal with however!
Finally started seeing someone over my depression, very.. harrowing to see it written down that i have moderatly severe depression and mild anxiety.. though with everything that goes on I am not surprised, i do try and not let everything take over, but when accidently smashing plates ( a good chunk of them too) i thought it was the end of the world, it is a sign that .. yes i'm not in a good place. I shoulder a lot of things and plod on, its almost like our family motto "Just Plod on" .. really need to make that into a plaque or something!
And so we plod on into 2017! what will it bring? who knows possibly another family trip to France, and everything else is a mystery. I hope for health and happiness. People to listen, support and understand. We are grateful to have friends that listen and care and we step into another year, stronger, i think so. We are determined stubborn souls in this house and I don't think that is going to change any time soon.
All my love for the holidays and the new year, lets see what 2017 throws at us!
Little man has settled very well into school and has now started reading! though not as fast as what his sister did but still very impressed with his progress so far! me being the over anxious person I seem to be (or everyone else thinks i am) was worried he could be like me and be dyslexic. Obviously there is lots of time yet for this to happen or come apparent but for now I am calm, he is writing well considering his very hypermobile fingers and we are just monitoring it all. He is not as tired as i thought he would be, to be honest.. he is still up at the crack of dawn, he goes to bed at the same sort of time. He is playing rugby tots regularly at school, a follow on from when he did free sessions in pre school. He has made friends and is generally doing well!
Madam, well her headaches which she was suffering with at the start of term have really settled down now, which i am super glad about, though we still have flares it does seem to be noise related but her teacher came up with a solution that madam and another child can say a code word and the rest of the class will quiet down! Still suffering of course with her joints and ibs issues, though we seem to have stumbled across that she suffers with maize/ corn products! which cause cramping, where as wheat causes bloating. so no more sweetcorn for her! which is a bug bare as its cheap and easy to put in alot of meals. But not much we can do there its just madam and her issues.
Currently having more problems with her back which she claims feels like jelly but i am wondering if she is growing.. and if her back could be hypermobile. Like the rest of her. GP has written back to the physio.. but I can't see much happening there! physio only wanted us to see her again when madam hit puberty or her next big growth spurt! would like to note though, it is not stopping her in regards to her school work! We were told at parents evening that she is being placed on the gifted and talented register for her reading and more then likely her maths! Maths we had to have serious words with her teacher with as madam had a meltdown over being bored at school! So now they let her do the work and more thankfully! and we have alot of books at home. ( wish i knew where she got it from me and her dad are hardly good at maths!) But we are so proud and I am so glad that her issues don't stop her from achieving in school. It doesn't mean much being on the register just that they will make sure she has what she needs to be challenged. Reading they are setting up a specific reading group for children like her. Maths i'm not so sure but sure it will be more on the lines what they are doing already!
As a family we had another quick pop over to France!! for hubbies birthday, after last years, if we all remember i had that short stay in hospital with my appendix! ... (whoops) and couldn't do anything for his birthday. so we made up for it this year! it was great, only a day trip into Calais! shopping and just walking around town exploring. It made a lovely change! and hope to do it again! Euro shuttle was great and def an option for our next visit, which we will probably do for our holiday again in 2017!
Finally had it noted that I am hypermobile, though no one has done official testing, i went to the drs over pain in my hands, esp as my left hand in particular, the thumb hyper extends and it makes it very difficult to do the usual every day things, like chopping veg! holding a book! spoke to gp who when i fisrt said just promptly showed me that her thumbs hyper extend ( whoopie for her! ) told me at my age !!! ( wth i'm 30!!) there isn't anything they can do! .. hrrm sure there is i said i'm hurting its difficult to do things, so she played around with my hand, said my thumb joint is rather loose, well duh its hypermobile, and promptly did a test that showed i have an issue with tendons in my wrist.. well that was a new one!! should get better but currently it feels in a steady decline, pain more days i do have supports but next step would be a steroid injection, though aslong as it worked better on me then it did on madam's knee. Also i have reynaulds .. nothing serious there just my hands are affected by the cold, feet too, but as far as i've seen they don't go blue unlike my fingers and don't struggle keeping heat! These are things I can deal with however!
Finally started seeing someone over my depression, very.. harrowing to see it written down that i have moderatly severe depression and mild anxiety.. though with everything that goes on I am not surprised, i do try and not let everything take over, but when accidently smashing plates ( a good chunk of them too) i thought it was the end of the world, it is a sign that .. yes i'm not in a good place. I shoulder a lot of things and plod on, its almost like our family motto "Just Plod on" .. really need to make that into a plaque or something!
And so we plod on into 2017! what will it bring? who knows possibly another family trip to France, and everything else is a mystery. I hope for health and happiness. People to listen, support and understand. We are grateful to have friends that listen and care and we step into another year, stronger, i think so. We are determined stubborn souls in this house and I don't think that is going to change any time soon.
All my love for the holidays and the new year, lets see what 2017 throws at us!
Saturday, 24 September 2016
Catch up!
Ah here we are, coming to the last week of September! these last few weeks have gone by fairly fast! with more and more wanting and hoping for the weekend so that we can relax! haha relax, does that ever really happen?
Couple more days ( 3.. ) and it will be two years since we moved here! two!! Now we have been here even longer, people start to ask if we regret it? pretty sure the unanimous answer is still no. Don't get me wrong its hard, without family near by, very, especially when we just want a break. I'd really hoped by now that madams issues would be under control. But sadly that is not the case. However we do have quite a few friends and we do try and visit when we can. The friends really do help make it seem less daunting and help when I get into my down days.
My down days seem to be happening more often but I am waiting to be seen by a counsellor, because I don't cope very well with all madams issues and its a strain. I really do try and not get anxious but it is hard. Not sure people would really understand unless in my shoes.
The children have been back in school 4 weeks on Monday, in the last three weeks, we have had to deal with 8 solid days of chronic headaches from madam, headaches where painkillers don't touch it! where noise makes it worse and where nothing is helping! ( and i really do mean nothing) in between these blocks of headaches ( as it was first week and then third) madams hip decided to be really bad, so bad i was having to prop her on the way home one day! arm round waist etc. I was close to going to out of hours with her but it did ease! but it is scary when the 8 yr old can't weight bare at all or pain in every step. It's like we can't just have a normal happy care free day, and yes that is dramatic! but that is the reality atm! if its not one thing its another and you can tell when she is in pain. Last night her face you could clearly see the discomfort there due to pain. That for any parent is heart breaking!
We had allergy retesting done last week! (just do go along with everything else going on!) its been two years since she was tested for nuts, would have been done last year but she ended up having anti histamines. Nothing has changed! well it has and hasn't. She is still nut allergic, not a great big mark on spt's but still there with cashews added to pecans and walnuts however we did know cashews might be an issue as they have been a little high on blood tests before now, and she did scratch that spot last time she was tested but no hive. So for now 3 years till she is tested again! hopefully before she starts high school so we can have plans moving on when we get there! She is still cat and dog allergic, weeds and now mould! which i did have a feeling over. From what i gather it is all moulds that came up. So .... have to be on top with things here, making sure condensation etc if off the windows and sort out clothes etc, make sure nothing is damp! no kicking through leaf litter ( that is a bug bare) so we dont have face flare ups ( swelling and eczema) needs must! Trees were oddly enough.. negative! which i find really curious! as i am certain she reacts in spring! so could be a false negative and we will have to see what she is like come spring! They even said her weed mark wasn't that bad but i know from first hand viewing how bad she is hives, wheezing etc. So.. it goes to show that spt marks don't always indicate how serious a reaction might be!
Little man seems to be enjoying school, even more so that he is with his friend on a daily basis! he doesn't seem as exhausted as i thought he would be but still like any child is tired coming home from school seems to be finding a second wind.. and being hyper right before bedtime! Though think it is affecting his sleep as its knocking sleep pattern out, even if at normal time he is waking up a couple hours after and then unhappy due to it being dark! well that is what happens in Autumn. so need to invest in a night light i think.
Two weeks today will be madams 9th birthday!! That.. is shocking in itself! she is having a sleep over, and i hope that goes well. ... we might end up regretting this decision lol. my baby will be 9... not sure that has sunk in yet. i've not had a full night sleep in 9 years...
Couple more days ( 3.. ) and it will be two years since we moved here! two!! Now we have been here even longer, people start to ask if we regret it? pretty sure the unanimous answer is still no. Don't get me wrong its hard, without family near by, very, especially when we just want a break. I'd really hoped by now that madams issues would be under control. But sadly that is not the case. However we do have quite a few friends and we do try and visit when we can. The friends really do help make it seem less daunting and help when I get into my down days.
My down days seem to be happening more often but I am waiting to be seen by a counsellor, because I don't cope very well with all madams issues and its a strain. I really do try and not get anxious but it is hard. Not sure people would really understand unless in my shoes.
The children have been back in school 4 weeks on Monday, in the last three weeks, we have had to deal with 8 solid days of chronic headaches from madam, headaches where painkillers don't touch it! where noise makes it worse and where nothing is helping! ( and i really do mean nothing) in between these blocks of headaches ( as it was first week and then third) madams hip decided to be really bad, so bad i was having to prop her on the way home one day! arm round waist etc. I was close to going to out of hours with her but it did ease! but it is scary when the 8 yr old can't weight bare at all or pain in every step. It's like we can't just have a normal happy care free day, and yes that is dramatic! but that is the reality atm! if its not one thing its another and you can tell when she is in pain. Last night her face you could clearly see the discomfort there due to pain. That for any parent is heart breaking!
We had allergy retesting done last week! (just do go along with everything else going on!) its been two years since she was tested for nuts, would have been done last year but she ended up having anti histamines. Nothing has changed! well it has and hasn't. She is still nut allergic, not a great big mark on spt's but still there with cashews added to pecans and walnuts however we did know cashews might be an issue as they have been a little high on blood tests before now, and she did scratch that spot last time she was tested but no hive. So for now 3 years till she is tested again! hopefully before she starts high school so we can have plans moving on when we get there! She is still cat and dog allergic, weeds and now mould! which i did have a feeling over. From what i gather it is all moulds that came up. So .... have to be on top with things here, making sure condensation etc if off the windows and sort out clothes etc, make sure nothing is damp! no kicking through leaf litter ( that is a bug bare) so we dont have face flare ups ( swelling and eczema) needs must! Trees were oddly enough.. negative! which i find really curious! as i am certain she reacts in spring! so could be a false negative and we will have to see what she is like come spring! They even said her weed mark wasn't that bad but i know from first hand viewing how bad she is hives, wheezing etc. So.. it goes to show that spt marks don't always indicate how serious a reaction might be!
Little man seems to be enjoying school, even more so that he is with his friend on a daily basis! he doesn't seem as exhausted as i thought he would be but still like any child is tired coming home from school seems to be finding a second wind.. and being hyper right before bedtime! Though think it is affecting his sleep as its knocking sleep pattern out, even if at normal time he is waking up a couple hours after and then unhappy due to it being dark! well that is what happens in Autumn. so need to invest in a night light i think.
Two weeks today will be madams 9th birthday!! That.. is shocking in itself! she is having a sleep over, and i hope that goes well. ... we might end up regretting this decision lol. my baby will be 9... not sure that has sunk in yet. i've not had a full night sleep in 9 years...
Thursday, 1 September 2016
September, school excitement and anxiety
1st of September! .. wow. Honestly does not feel like it was that long since it was last September, or the September of 4 years ago when my eldest started school full time. Now it is little man's turn! I am not sure what fills me with more anxiety, big one or little one. I am sure any mother is the same, worried how their baby will be, if they like school are they making friends.
I am lucky we have been here before when eldest went, she trotted in without a backwards glance having only ever been to the school for taster sessions she was off! She was so ready for it all. Happy, bubbly, ready to learn.
Not sure how little man is going to be, he has been completely different to her, he in alot of ways isn't ready, but it is hard to compare them, when she at the time was nearly 5! mr has quite a few months yet before he turns 5. He eventually liked nursery/ Pre-School. He made some friends ( and thankfully his main buddy is going to be in the same class.. thank goodness as his mum is one of my best friends.) However his alphabet knowledge is poor, though we are trying our hardest with Jolly phonics, his number skills I am not worried about. Main thing i do worry about with him, is his hands, and him generally. As well all know now he is hypermobile. The teachers have said he will have to tell them when he is tired.. erm.. that is not going to go down well he isn't overly vocal and how will he know he is tired? That is going to be interesting! They have got things in place ready for him though, which is a little weight off my mind and I am sure they will be watching him checking, I get a feeling though he will leave it till he comes out to voice his.. *cough* opinion. Fully on meltdown tired mode. ( can't you tell I am looking forward to that! )
Madam is another kettle of fish. I am anxious over her, for so many reasons. I shouldn't be.. not with her going into year 4. It should be a wave a kiss and a see you later. I know I will be overly anxious. When she goes into school with high pain, it is hard not to worry as i know she doesn't voice her concerns. To add to everything her eczema isn't exactly calm and she is very itchy atm, something the school haven't had full experience of with her. Her allergies are always a worry/ concern anyway! Then there is the fact she is going into a new class... previously their year was a 4 class year but due to movement of pupils and budget they are being shrunk to 3 classes ( to be fair we were lucky they only used to be 20 in their class at most!) now its more like 26 ish. now it wouldn't have been an issue if she took any friends from her old class but she didn't! apparently this wasn't a factor (.. hrrm tell that to the other children who seem to all have their friends) they put her there due to ability.. okay okay. i know. she is bright i want her to be pushed. However with everything I want her to be happy not just academic. I suppose that is the pit falls of a larger school. ( big school but small school ethos..which is does have to be fair)
September brings with it.. an allergy appointment, and good job really. We will be testing I am lead to believe her nut allergies but also i want to discuss the wheat issues and possible mold issues.
These were taken on holiday. no she doesn't always look like this, but I have very little idea what caused it, poor baby it took a good few days to go down! so i will be showing these, she did have similar last year in Autumn so interesting to note. However what i do so in the top, aside from the swollen eye lids, eczema slightly puffy face.. and hair that is a pain in the bum to brush, i see beautiful blue eyes which are so.. stunning (she is mine I am allowed to be biased) and a strength, she is determined and a bossy boots! but i love her and her brother millions.
She is not looking forward to the allergy test! as its needles and things but needs must. I am sure I will cope with my anxiety like I always do. Bottle it up till it all comes bursting out more likely! However ... I am on a waiting list for a counsellor so atleast that is something.
I am lucky we have been here before when eldest went, she trotted in without a backwards glance having only ever been to the school for taster sessions she was off! She was so ready for it all. Happy, bubbly, ready to learn.
Not sure how little man is going to be, he has been completely different to her, he in alot of ways isn't ready, but it is hard to compare them, when she at the time was nearly 5! mr has quite a few months yet before he turns 5. He eventually liked nursery/ Pre-School. He made some friends ( and thankfully his main buddy is going to be in the same class.. thank goodness as his mum is one of my best friends.) However his alphabet knowledge is poor, though we are trying our hardest with Jolly phonics, his number skills I am not worried about. Main thing i do worry about with him, is his hands, and him generally. As well all know now he is hypermobile. The teachers have said he will have to tell them when he is tired.. erm.. that is not going to go down well he isn't overly vocal and how will he know he is tired? That is going to be interesting! They have got things in place ready for him though, which is a little weight off my mind and I am sure they will be watching him checking, I get a feeling though he will leave it till he comes out to voice his.. *cough* opinion. Fully on meltdown tired mode. ( can't you tell I am looking forward to that! )
Madam is another kettle of fish. I am anxious over her, for so many reasons. I shouldn't be.. not with her going into year 4. It should be a wave a kiss and a see you later. I know I will be overly anxious. When she goes into school with high pain, it is hard not to worry as i know she doesn't voice her concerns. To add to everything her eczema isn't exactly calm and she is very itchy atm, something the school haven't had full experience of with her. Her allergies are always a worry/ concern anyway! Then there is the fact she is going into a new class... previously their year was a 4 class year but due to movement of pupils and budget they are being shrunk to 3 classes ( to be fair we were lucky they only used to be 20 in their class at most!) now its more like 26 ish. now it wouldn't have been an issue if she took any friends from her old class but she didn't! apparently this wasn't a factor (.. hrrm tell that to the other children who seem to all have their friends) they put her there due to ability.. okay okay. i know. she is bright i want her to be pushed. However with everything I want her to be happy not just academic. I suppose that is the pit falls of a larger school. ( big school but small school ethos..which is does have to be fair)
September brings with it.. an allergy appointment, and good job really. We will be testing I am lead to believe her nut allergies but also i want to discuss the wheat issues and possible mold issues.
She is not looking forward to the allergy test! as its needles and things but needs must. I am sure I will cope with my anxiety like I always do. Bottle it up till it all comes bursting out more likely! However ... I am on a waiting list for a counsellor so atleast that is something.
Friday, 19 August 2016
J'amour la France.
Well we have been back from our holiday now, since Tuesday though only got back here on Wednesday lunch time as we made the decision before we went to book a hotel somewhere along the way back as originally our crossing was going to be later then when we actually crossed!
It was a wonderful experience having never personally been to France before ( ever) hubby had but i hadn't and the children certainly hadn't! It was so strange being on long open roads with nothing around literally put farm land! farm land and ,,,, more farm land with the odd little town/ village dusted in between! it was surreal. It was only near the major towns that it was more built up and traffic slightly heavier haha when i say that it wasn't any more busy then a back street here, the motorways were about as busy as our main roads... even then i don't think they were that busy! I would say however.... plan your journey! on the A roads there are different types of services, not all with the things you expect at a services like here. some are literally picnic areas but all seem to have toilets even if they don't seem to sign for them. Take your own toilet roll... and soap as these are not provided esp in the quieter areas! I did learn however what to look out for on the maps which denoted what the services were, bolder the better!
We had 10 days in France, crossing over via Dover to Dunkirk! ... early on Sunday morning, wasn't a great idea! we got into the centre of Dunkirk and of course everything was shut... whoops. However when walking about, we noted buses full of people! .. ok.. so back in the car we followed and found the beach and all the people lol it seemed we landed on a sort of busy weekend were everywhere seemed to be doing a special with mussles .... which made it interesting to find somewhere to eat as we don't do mussles. We did eventually find somewhere and our first experience of eating out begun. Dunkirk was nice enough but sure we could appreciate it more when things were open! It made it more difficult when we realised all the supermarkets shut at midday.. which we missed. another whoops!
We found our first place and it was only 10 minutes away from the ferry terminal ( roughly) in a very quiet little place next to a canal which had huge ( and i mean huge) boats crossing along it. but that was all that was making any noise! .. the odd car, farm equipment etc. The children loved it and we did too! only two days there however until we moved to our main part of the holiday. in the Loire Valley! Vendome. It took 6 hours to get there ( including stops) which wasn't terrible but it is where we had most of our road experience. (good and bad) We managed to find a little quaint town when picking where to stay and I am not sure we could have been luckier! it was beautiful!
It was a wonderful experience having never personally been to France before ( ever) hubby had but i hadn't and the children certainly hadn't! It was so strange being on long open roads with nothing around literally put farm land! farm land and ,,,, more farm land with the odd little town/ village dusted in between! it was surreal. It was only near the major towns that it was more built up and traffic slightly heavier haha when i say that it wasn't any more busy then a back street here, the motorways were about as busy as our main roads... even then i don't think they were that busy! I would say however.... plan your journey! on the A roads there are different types of services, not all with the things you expect at a services like here. some are literally picnic areas but all seem to have toilets even if they don't seem to sign for them. Take your own toilet roll... and soap as these are not provided esp in the quieter areas! I did learn however what to look out for on the maps which denoted what the services were, bolder the better!
We had 10 days in France, crossing over via Dover to Dunkirk! ... early on Sunday morning, wasn't a great idea! we got into the centre of Dunkirk and of course everything was shut... whoops. However when walking about, we noted buses full of people! .. ok.. so back in the car we followed and found the beach and all the people lol it seemed we landed on a sort of busy weekend were everywhere seemed to be doing a special with mussles .... which made it interesting to find somewhere to eat as we don't do mussles. We did eventually find somewhere and our first experience of eating out begun. Dunkirk was nice enough but sure we could appreciate it more when things were open! It made it more difficult when we realised all the supermarkets shut at midday.. which we missed. another whoops!
We found our first place and it was only 10 minutes away from the ferry terminal ( roughly) in a very quiet little place next to a canal which had huge ( and i mean huge) boats crossing along it. but that was all that was making any noise! .. the odd car, farm equipment etc. The children loved it and we did too! only two days there however until we moved to our main part of the holiday. in the Loire Valley! Vendome. It took 6 hours to get there ( including stops) which wasn't terrible but it is where we had most of our road experience. (good and bad) We managed to find a little quaint town when picking where to stay and I am not sure we could have been luckier! it was beautiful!
This was a picture of the abbey which was in town. .. i could post pictures all day! But don't worry I won't. This holiday was truely one of the first holiday's where we just chilled, we had planned to maybe go to Paris, and Angers however when we tried to book tickets it was ridiculously expensive for train tickets for places not far away :( oh well it just means we have to plan more trips and plan better in the future!
One of the big things for the children was my mum and step dad coming to visit whilst we were away! I will never forget how my daughter reacted. We were playing eye spy, as we knew hubby and i, that the grandparents were close, and suddenly hubby says i spy with the letter G... my parents car pulled up and madam shouted "Grandma, Grandad! " and was off like a shot! never seen her move so fast and I am still not sure if the realisation hit how far they had come to join us on holiday. ( after all we don't see them often any more)
It was lovely having my mum and step dad away, it meant the children and us had quality time with them and were able to explore together. We kept it simple, walks to down, buying fresh bread ( and cakes.. and cakes.. oh and more cakes lol) I got to have a real French coffee outside a pretty little cafe. one of the must do things I HAD to do. We survived ordering food in French and really tried our best to order and ask for all we could in French, only problem was when they spoke really fast or their own English was non existent.. oh eck!
How did we do health wise? well madams joints were alright. ( unless you count when she fell off a wall on the last night.. yes she is ok but gave us a scare!!) we did take it easy though for both their sakes so gentle walks, we didn't go up to the castle.. due to the million of steps. i wish however her eczema could have given us a break. they say hot weather is good.. hahah. her eyes swelled up and i am not sure if it was due to her weed allergy, or another allergy ( mold spore... or something i am sure she reacts too) or sun cream etc. She had horrible heat rash and we just struggled esp towards the end of our stay as it got into the 30's and us blue skinned Brits were not coping! Esp as the floor was burning hot.
However we coped and i felt we coped better then we had done for the last few holidays but perhaps it was because we did so little. We normally like exploring so much but.. we were just totally different this time!
It is a shame something we planned for so long is over and now.. we have two weeks left before school. (school..!! ) my sister is coming for the air show today.. though.. it is currently tipping down outside.. it will be nice to see them though! and as for the rest of the holidays, well.. just slowly preparing for school and meeting with friends.
September is going to be busy, school wise and we also have an allergy appointment booked for madam and also need to get her back in for a blood test for coeliac disease again due to her issues with her tummy. ( immediate bloating when eating wheat 9/10) its never simple but we manage.
Sunday, 31 July 2016
Summer holidays 2016!!
Wow summer holidays are here! zooming through the year, though with all the things going on this year, from celebrity deaths to the .. horrible atrocious terrorism that is occurring around the world! (currently one a week it seems atm or more then one and I don't just mean In Europe! ) Some would be rather glad to see the back of it!
I'm in two minds, sometimes I want to see the back of it, and then at the same time i don't want to miss anything. I know things have been difficult. We are yes still coming to terms with things and it isn't always easy just to even talk about it. I have been told that really the blog isn't always a good idea, because it seems i'm trying to get validation for madams issues. And I can see what has been said, I feel I have to justify what she is going through to prove she really does have issues. I do this, ( i think ) because it is an invisible condition and for years i've had to watch and wait and try and find evidence that she was struggling that there really was something. Yes we had a diagnosis but we've still had issues with professionals dismissing it or putting down her pain.
So i'm trying to be good! trying not to bring it up often or as often, hard, because our day to day living has to cope, for example yesterday we were out and her ankles kept going over every few steps, she didn't always fall down, but stumbled and it was hurting her. What can we do?! Feel i need to look for new trainers esq but.. there are non to my liking that are actually supportive enough or high enough to support her ankle. :( Going to be interesting! neither do i have immediate funds either to get some even if i did find anything as..... we go on holiday a week today!!! ( well a week today fingers crossed we will be waiting for our Ferry!!) so all funds are trying desperately to be saved for that ( of course)
Makes it interesting for things to do however with the children whilst we wait for our holiday to get here! times on the park and time inside watching dvds/ playing games have been the order of the days. Also Madam.. learned how to ride her bike!!!
Now this might seem really late to some as she is 9 in October, but with her balance issues etc I never thought we would get her on a bike! having tried so hard in the past. This is a huge achievement! She still needs to get steering down and how to set off a bit more on her own ( she can do it sometimes and sometimes she can't) Also needs to get used to the weight of the bike.. it is a rather sturdy one but really good. We will be doing more practice today! I think she is also looking forward to her cousins coming and potentially bringing there's so they can ride with her! They are coming a couple days after we come back from our holiday for the Air Show! So can't wait!
A few exciting weeks ahead! trying to keep a positive outlook as much as possible before we start the new school year, madam into year 4 ( omg where has the time gone?!!) and little man is going into Reception where he will have his own journey and learning how to cope with his Hypermobility but that is another tale!
Will update upon our return from France!
I'm in two minds, sometimes I want to see the back of it, and then at the same time i don't want to miss anything. I know things have been difficult. We are yes still coming to terms with things and it isn't always easy just to even talk about it. I have been told that really the blog isn't always a good idea, because it seems i'm trying to get validation for madams issues. And I can see what has been said, I feel I have to justify what she is going through to prove she really does have issues. I do this, ( i think ) because it is an invisible condition and for years i've had to watch and wait and try and find evidence that she was struggling that there really was something. Yes we had a diagnosis but we've still had issues with professionals dismissing it or putting down her pain.
So i'm trying to be good! trying not to bring it up often or as often, hard, because our day to day living has to cope, for example yesterday we were out and her ankles kept going over every few steps, she didn't always fall down, but stumbled and it was hurting her. What can we do?! Feel i need to look for new trainers esq but.. there are non to my liking that are actually supportive enough or high enough to support her ankle. :( Going to be interesting! neither do i have immediate funds either to get some even if i did find anything as..... we go on holiday a week today!!! ( well a week today fingers crossed we will be waiting for our Ferry!!) so all funds are trying desperately to be saved for that ( of course)
Makes it interesting for things to do however with the children whilst we wait for our holiday to get here! times on the park and time inside watching dvds/ playing games have been the order of the days. Also Madam.. learned how to ride her bike!!!
Now this might seem really late to some as she is 9 in October, but with her balance issues etc I never thought we would get her on a bike! having tried so hard in the past. This is a huge achievement! She still needs to get steering down and how to set off a bit more on her own ( she can do it sometimes and sometimes she can't) Also needs to get used to the weight of the bike.. it is a rather sturdy one but really good. We will be doing more practice today! I think she is also looking forward to her cousins coming and potentially bringing there's so they can ride with her! They are coming a couple days after we come back from our holiday for the Air Show! So can't wait!
A few exciting weeks ahead! trying to keep a positive outlook as much as possible before we start the new school year, madam into year 4 ( omg where has the time gone?!!) and little man is going into Reception where he will have his own journey and learning how to cope with his Hypermobility but that is another tale!
Will update upon our return from France!
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