Moving on

Well over the last week some growing up is needed. Fully aware that I am now 30 and that growing up should have happened already and others could probably argue I was old for my age anyway.

Last week I went to see the hospital counsellor regarding madam. And came to the realisation as much as things are hard to cope with we are coping alot more then when we first went to see her.  I am not sure if this is due to the parenting course I had to go on or just myself I general.

We had a good chat which is shocking as I am not her biggest fan to be quite honest as before now I was made to feel it was all on me or that it was made behaviour. Yes sh can be difficult but I can see why and I was completely honest with her that I do have some learning issues myself. I need specific info. As I felt so confused conflicted by what everyone is saying and like magic people understood.

We saw the physio yesterday who didn't dismiss madams pain.... She had done before and we managed to have a really good chat. We agreed madam is madam she will get pain she can't over do it we have to let her rest too. Yes sports good we need to keep her strong because if she stops she will deteriorate quickly. Okay I understand that they were not saying it was a cure though that was the impression I was getting especially from the gp too.  Madams hips are severely hypermobile esp her right hip which has a knock on affect. Her calf muscles are extemely tight because everything is trying to compensate for her loose knees hips etc just to keep her upright.  It's any wonder why she has pain and tired Her body is full out just to keep her mobile. 

The hard thing is knowing this is it where we are there is nothing more we can do. Use ice and heat tubi grips and medicine. Just to keep her going. When she has her next big growth spurt /puberty she is going to be hit hard and probably going to cause issues and with her already tall she won't be longer before she starts (physio said this) I dread it my baby is 8...

Being an adult is hard sometimes. ..but if I am not strong who will be? How can I tell her it will be all ok if I'm upset.   

Mixed parental feelings

Sometimes, I know, we are discussing the same things over and over again. The same issues and troubles. It seems to be the same thing all the time the same trouble, the same problem. I wish I had some magic way to fix things. Fix the way of life that we have at the moment.

I feel like a traitor as a mother, let me explain.  Ever since we moved the professionals here are very dismissive of madams issues, they just say she has lax joints and that sports will help she will get better.  Nothing more. No exercises to do, no specifics, we've asked for pain management help, someone for madam to talk to and what did we get? sent to a counselor, and then to a parenting course, why? because apparently madams issues are just anxiety and the pain she is in shouldn't be there. 

Fine I said  I will go on the parenting course, madam has been doing pe and two after school clubs, one football and one tennis/ football (two full terms of one then the other!)  There has been 0 improvement, yes a couple calmer spots but that's it! the parenting course is more attuned to those who have behavioral issues and for the parents that might go bang over the smallest things, yes there were some small things I could take away and use but nothing concrete.  

Yes my kids get a bit hyper and excited but they don't have behavioral issues.  This isn't helping and its taking up my time, i've made no friends on this course and I am going to meet the course leader next week to talk about something else which may help but apparently thats not much better then what I have already done, her words not mine. 

The last time we saw the physio we were told she would be happy to discharge.. after madam had her hips x-rayed to rule out hip dysplasia ( and i had to chase up this app.. as nothing had been said or done till i went and spoke to the dr! fgs. )  So all done.. and apparently her pelvis is normal.  Not sure if they are including her hips etc into this diagnosis as no one has discussed it with me. I just rang and got, her pelvis is fine. Ok. ... 

So I am waiting now for the physio to ring me and tell me we are discharged.  I have worked myself up so much into thinking madam may have had hip dysplasia.  That it could explain why her leg turns in, why her knee seems to suffer with bursitis so much. But, I've got myself so worked up for an answer a hope for some help and support that, when i got told it was normal I was devastated. 

Now I know that seems incredibly odd that I wanted something to be wrong with her  but I don't, I wanted something finally to go aha! that is what is wrong, this is how we can fix it.  Now i feel back to square one. No one is listening or cares. No child IMO would keep up a charade so long and not want to go and do things like the park, or fun things  if they were faking it. you cannot fake a knee turning in or it swelling. So why is no one listening? it has been thought that it could be all money based, they don't want to pay for referrals, or things to be done. It's easier to fob us off. All the while who is dealing with the fall out..... ME I'm dealing with the tears and the stress.   

I don't know what the next step is, yes we should keep fighting but I'm getting so so tired of fighting and arguing and wanting people to listen, to see.  What do i want out of all of this? Support, advice and knowledge of what to do. I don't think the following positions are normal. 

 

See how her knees turn in? the right knee/ leg always sits like this, always when she is sat down.  I would really love to hear from other parents, if their children who don't show signs of being Hypermobile, can do this?  Without pain. 

 (note this was taken after a very hard mri scan she was well and truely fed up and tired) 

Trying to show how her right knee falls in! two different mornings ( please ignore the mess!) 

Hypermobility syndome Awareness week 2016

Well as it is HMS awareness week this week ( well near the end of it now!) I couldn't just leave it without doing some sort of blog, considering it is , such a big part of our lives here.

I am not sure where to start, I've tried to think and tried to start this blog so many times, sometimes just been too tired  to start to write, or not knowing the right thing to say.  On my own face book I know I go on alot, however it is a huge deal to us. We fought for years trying to get some sort of diagnosis for madam then we got one, and it didn't change our lives it just.. made us more aware.  It brought some questions but it also brought answers.

What does it mean to us here? well on a daily basis it depends? we can have days which are fine, normal family time, nothing out of the ordinary. I wish I could say we had more normal days then not.

I think I personally have Hypermobility ( not saying the syndrome) I can remember having to get clumpy shoes ( no offence mum!) to help with my ankles as i would always be going over on them, my knees where horrid not solely because of weight but because a dr once said my muscles hadn't formed properly. Not that anything was ever done because of it!  When pregnant especially with mr i had horrible pelvic girdle pain/spd, my hips you could feel coming out of their sockets and I ended up on crutches, ( and really could have done with staying on them after for a while) even now 4 years on from giving birth i can still get issues when I have done to much.  I rate myself about a 7 on the Beighton score. Fingers, thumbs, hyperextended knees, I can practically touch the floor too just not palms. I have always had issues writing and clearly remember when i had been painting I had sprained my wrist, remember due to the fact i was called a liar by so called friends and that we have recently been painting the kitchen and I've had the same issue but stopped before I got too sore.  Also i stand on the outside of my feet just like the children do, have rediculously sensitive feet and pretty sure i loose my arches however that could be because i'm fat!

On to the kiddies!

Madam, my poor baby doesn't half suffer, as people say, she doesn't get a break and in all honesty it doesn't seem like she does. If its not her eczema or allergies its her joints. A couple weeks ago after going out for little man's birthday at a soft play she developed bursitis, ( google is my friend and nothing else explains it) which is common soft tissue damage for people like her. That didn't ease for over a week and a half. Think more forgotten when her cousins were staying with us! Couple days go she moved position on the couch and managed to sprain her wrist, to the point her fingers have swelled a little. ... her wrists arn't even classed as Hyper mobile. Yet... these things are down to her anxieties. Hrrrm.. can't fake the fluid on her knee.. or swollen fingers! Aswell as being recently diagnosed with IBS. HMS causes alot of problems on her scale. my wish? ... just to get someone who listens and doesn't think it's all in our heads. I feel bad for running to the doctors every two minutes but also bad if i don't!

My little man, well thankfully it may just be Hypermobilty at the moment, he was confirmed as having "increased movement" in his joints particularly his hands and toes. He gets alot of fluid in his joints, he creaks and clicks.. and i hope that he doesn't get the pain that his big sister does! he already gets tired and doesn't seem to have the running like a lunatic, energy that most pre schoolers have! ( not overly sure i'm complaining there!!)


Because of this, and some other factors we have decided against any more children, It had been a thought and a real one recently but then i've had to be realistic. I couldn't cope with another child who could possibly have the same issues or worse.(considering the eczema was debilitating enough! allergies, hm, ibs, etc etc... noooo)  Then again it wouldn't be fair to have one more even if completely fine as the time spent helping the other two would be too great.  Of course there are other factors but it was one of the main deciding factors. I find it hard to cope as it is at the moment, especially when madam is having a really bad day or week.

Future? Not sure, not sure what it will bring, i want people to listen, to try and be understanding, i have to say no to madam and mr, sometimes soft play is out, huge plays on the park are a no. But only if they are in pain, or i may have to reduce time out because i know the fall out afterwards, extreme fatigue, grumpy, pain. Not worth it.

I would love to be able to wipe the slate clean and say its not going to happen its all going to get better but I can't say that as that would be a delusion. We just deal with what we have the best we can.  New strategies ,  Lots of bandages, medicine and love.

I want to be an advocate for all things atopic and HM.

Do not let your child or yourself W sit (bum on the floor with legs either side of hips)
Do not do If you are or your child are having pain in a joint no matter if at night or day keep a log and go to the dr! Don't be fobbed off with growing pains!!

Read up, join up! there are so many good Facebooks groups and the Hypermobility syndromes is a great webpage for info, membership and printoffs! http://hypermobility.org/help-advice/what-is-hms/

Do not just think your child is attention seeking, even if you are told they are ( .. guilty as charged here)  you are mum! ( or dad or guardian!) you know your child best.  Take back up with you if needed.

I will continue to pester and post and talk about it, Because here and FB are my venting places, where i feel i may get some support for my life  and perhaps, just perhaps I can help someone else out there.

Support is Key, its all I ever wanted and its all I ever needed.

( All pictures are of my children and are not taken from anywhere else,)

Think we've been here before

Well today we had it confirmed that the youngest is also hypermobile, or as they liked to call it today he has increased mobility, even if the pediatrician laughed and said it was the same as being hypermobile. She was shocked at the extent of his fingers, thumbs and wrists and noted that he also has hypermobile toes! .. I always said they were strange and his fingers defiantly so. Commented that his tiredness for distance walking is more then likely due to him being tired and not just lazy! ( as its normally walking back from school which isn't far. )

So..  what do we do now? well i feel a bit of a relief, it is confirmed, I'm not going crazy, i'm not making it up, and he genuinely has some freaky fingers that even she was like anyone can see his hands are Hypermobile.

Good news is that his hips and knees are not too bad, and shes not concerned with his ankles and feet yet, though personally i will be watching them! He does crack and creak alot, but this is more then likely tendons/ liagaments snapping back into place as she said.  We have a good nursery, and fingers crossed he will be heading up into the school where his big sister is at.

We know they are genuinely good with her and they don't push her as far as her joints go.  Mr will need help with his fingers and writing eventually but we need to let him try and go through reception year first before asking for help, however we can get help if needed sooner if we have lots of problems!  I feel happy we have something there! something to fall to if we need help. As getting help for madam is so hard! but it shows it affects everyone differently! And we weren't fobbed off with "he'll grow out of it! "

She also commented that he was a well behaved and bright boy... yeah ok i can be smug for a minute! but it was a good appointment!!

Then to madam... we are wheat free again, see blog two years ago and we were wheat free for her eczema, now its for her poor tummy that gets very bloated and sore.  It is proving difficult but least the drs are listening, Then again they can't argue with evidence in front of them. Something is going on.  Throw on top the hearing issue we are looking into.. and we have alot of appointments to deal with. (again)


To help with all this we have booked a well deserved holiday to France.... though it is in August! It is giving me something useful to do in the mean time... learning French! Je suis calme! ... Honestly I am. Not often i can say that.

We must plod on and see what the future brings for the bendy kiddies! lets keep the health issues to a minimum please :)

Bon nuit!

Sooo 2015 is already coming to a close!

Where did it go? seriously? I know everyone is probably asking the same thing, as they do when they get older the years go quicker. Oh to be a child again thinking the years are so long and dragged out. Doesn't seem like a week ago since we were at last Christmas, first one in the new house, with my friend from OZ over.  Bam.. year has gone and its nearly 2016.

I keep trying to think what has happened this year, we spent out first full year here in Bournemouth! Any regrets? no apart from not having family around the corner or just a phone call away. The traveling can be hard, when it can range from 5 hours and up ( can be timed at less depending on length of service stops.. but we like a stretch ) Though haven't done as many trips up as i thought we might do this year, didn't help that on one trip up we actually broke down. .. ( we didn't get very far thank goodness!! )

I have  made some lovely friends since living here, though i don't normally feel very confident with making friends, I feel I've made some really close friends, though my friend from round the corner who has allergies, and hypermobility is moving a bit further away ( only a bus ride!) our kiddies get along and we can talk and that makes all the difference. It will be an excuse to leave the house!

In November, it was me who needed a hospital visit in what turned out to be appendicitis! that was a first for me to be in hospital for something other than the children ie giving birth or them in general. It  was a bit scary, and its taken a while to heal, longer to get over the tiredness which i didn't expect! Still currently not allowed to lift anything heavy but another week or so and i should be able to shift anything i want! But i found out what real genuine friends i had around me. And much needed for the star bucks coffee trip one of my friends did! and the school lifts, though school really did try to help, even offering free breakfast and after school club, but we couldn't work it round with hubby going to work.


We've had the usual hospital apps this year with the eldest! and all of her issues. We've even had a new one added with her hearing bless, due to frequent headaches  i was talking to the dermatologist who suggested getting a hearing test done at school so sorted that round school, who found there was an issue with her left ear. ( never would have thought there was an issue) and we got sent to a local community pediatrician. more tests to find its not ear wax or glue ear and we are being sent to someone else to check the bones in her ear! ... well it explains why she sometimes can't hear me calling for her.  But its another thing to the list! and the worry that goes with it, as there isn't apparently much that comes on to affect a childs hearing apart from ear wax glue ear, etc unless they were born with issues which  madam wasn't!  as her speech is above average for her age so its something thats come on.   However least this is being investigated! where as her hypermobility is just being left and told we just have to get her exercising. Ok.. she has been doing football twice a week, once at school and then on a Sunday with  a "this girl can" group. which she has really enjoyed. Doesn't sort out her flat feet.. or her swollen knees and ankles.  But i'm just holding off now. They are sending me on a parenting course to deal with madams anxiety.. ( because apparently this is all it is?)

Little man is doing ok! though also being investigated for hypermobility, as his fingers are very HM and i want something in place before he starts school full time in September! We did have some physio back in April after i pestered the GP.. but instead of checking all of him, they literally just checked his legs and feet and told me not to let him W sit... yeah like i just let him.  Even madam still does it and i have to tell her to move. Nursery are very good however and have been doing some exercises with the class which has helped improve mr's balance a bit. They also have a Occupational therapist in who suggested we get him checked out... yeah ok we are trying. Our original referral got lost! after waiting two months i decided to chase it to find it had been sat in someones tray undone for the time. Not happy. But should be getting an appointment for that at some point soon. Shall we place bets that  it will clash with madams audiology appointment?

We haven't done a great deal this year apart from settle in as much as we can here, we went to Cornwall on Holiday, which was a lovely holiday, and we try and explore more round here, we visited the air show, which was a interesting experience but i won't be doing that every year!!

 We are practically ready for christmas, we  just need to wrap a few more things, as we keep finding some little things to add. We are then visiting family after and i can't wait, as it feels like forever since we saw anyone!

Fingers crossed we will have a good run up!

Next year , well what does it bring? we would like to go to France if we can, we probably have lots of appointments to deal with and we will just have to take everything one step at a time. I know we can get through anything because we have got this far!. I turn 30 this next year... no plans as of yet to do anything apart from maybe a meal out. It is also our 10th wedding anniversary!!  (where has the time gone?! and also a big fat raspberry to anyone who thought we wouldn't last this long)  That we want to go to a concert, we just need some willing baby sitters to come down for a couple days in half term! Pretty please lol We don't exactly go out on our own often ;)

All the best for the holidays and the new year! Lets hope it is better then the last one.

Mummies turn for a hospital visit

I'm pretty sure everyone has had enough of my tale already, however with how  everything happened I want something written down so I can remember something  and hopefully remember  the symptoms for someone else next time if there ever is a next time on the same lines.

On Wed everything was fine, I hadn't been ill, we had a lovely time at my childrens parents evening, madam is practically gifted, teachers words not ours ( and I cried because we know how much she deals with and she just gets on with it! ) little man got seen by a Occupational therapist in school and yes definitely has hypermobility and we need to chase it up and make sure he gets help so was nice to get some other backing! And he's very nurturing and empathic with other children... just not his sister lol.


Thursday morning.. i woke up at 6, and got out of bed straight away.. I don't usually follow hubby straight down, but my tummy was bloated and sore, thought i'd just had a funny tum.  Though i do recall some sort of pain in the night, again prob just put down to something else.

I didn't fancy eating and sat on the couch with my morning brew like I always do! had about half and just couldn't feel like any more. so left it, hubby left for work though suggested i had some milk of magnesia or something but i had already taken rennies to no effect.  I felt a bit off when in the kitchen i think i was getting breakfasts and then suddenly my half a cup of coffee was up. That wasn't good.  not something usually that happens. I messaged my friend to ask if she could take madam to school as i knew i just wouldn't manage it. all this by 7:30 am. I had to get daughter to get her lunch together as i was worried if it was a sick bug she would get it so wonderful love managed it we got her dressed as usual and off she went with a friend.

Poor little man was left with me, i felt terrible. I just couldn't get comfortable, at all, the pain across my stomach was odd, i tried lying in bed i tried sitting with cushions on the couch. nothing was helping. i was up and down i had a bath, i felt almost like it was labour but that just wasn't possible! I was having hot flushes, pain.. and i couldn't keep anything down at all not even water! i attempted some ice pops that just about stayed down and mr tried to steal.  At 1:30 hubby calls as usual and i said i've been sick and still in alot of pain etc, so he insists ring the dr see if you can talk to dr. ok i do.. i wanted a home visit, but dr said come in now there is a emergency surgery at 3pm but if i got in they could see me. So.... taxi up with mr. I had a feeling then that i wasn't going to be going home.

At the drs she was so understanding, not like usual and said she knew there must be something as i never go in to the drs, never and i said no i don't,  so talked through the morning got on the bed pressed around my tum then the right side and pow! hot sweat and pain! .. dr wasn't happy, i wasn't happy and she was immediately concerned.  had another feel then let me get up. Mr was being so well behaved bless  as he had been virtually ignored all day not even any lunch ( he got some crisps and some choc at some point) dr said she wanted me to ring hubby she thought it was appendicitis.. something i had been trying to deny! Hubby immediately left work, dr rung the hospital so they knew i was coming and gave me a letter to give then put me in another room to wait for hubby.

Whilst in the room mr was given a biscuit and some water that i wasn't allowed to touch and didn't want and we then waited. I needed an over night bag and was trying not to freak. i felt so ill and still not comfortable!  before hubby arrived i had brought up bile and the dr was going to ring an ambulance ( she didn't want to because it wasn't a blue light event.. and could take 2-4 hours)

When hubby arrived he had been home to get a bag for me and we were off to the hosp! going over every bump hurt!  but we just had to get there and then get to the ward. When there I spoke through what was going on, again.. though didn't want to lie down had to. Bloods were taken  and options were discussed as well as speaking to a consultant. We weren't sure then if it was kidney stones or something gyny or appendicitis as they have to rule it out. Poor hubby and little man had to leave to get some tea and madam from a friends house. I was left to be taken to x-ray to check for kidney stones ( i did have some medicine during this time thank goodness! ) Down to x-ray and took forever to come back up where i was then back in pain, i could hear the staff chattering saying my bloods had come back with a high inflammation marker so it looked like appendicitis but they would do a scan in the morning just to rule out anything else and then go in and check my appendix! .. Off to the ward we went.


It was busy! very ... i was left... until about 9 pm when i asked for some pain meds as mine had definitely   warn off. Though pretty sure remember now i threw the next lot of morphine up.. was given some liquid paracetamol and anti sickness stuff again and some anti biotics. .. couldn't get comfortable, i couldn't get any sleep, there was too much noise going on, lady opposite me had a oxygen mask that she kept taking off.. that made noise and staff had to come and sort out. some time after midnight and a check up it seemed i had gained a temp atleast 38.8 for one reading so was put on more anti biotics. one of the staff and thought i was flushed earlier and said he would check but never did and i had asked for the window open, i was not covered. At some point it was said my surgery would be at 6 sod any scans.


 I then started to shake, like shivers when you are cold but so much worse the bed was shaking with me! I tried so hard not to shake, i really did, but i couldn't. I could hear staff in the room so called to them to come and help. One was trying and failing to get a blood pressure reading from me, and bloody oxygen level in.  ( she was annoying, did it several times and tutting when she couldn't and told me to stop shaking.. as if i could! ) they put me on oxygen and eventually my body stopped shaking and they left to call the surgeon.  when i was sleeping some one came to take me to x-ray.... found out they wanted to check i had done no chest damage with my shaking. that was 1 am.  Surgeon came and said we need to get this surgery done tonight as i had two lots of different anti biotics and it just wasn't working. It was a odd conversation he stood with his arms crossed looking.. concerned. " it's not working this isn't good" so he left to make phone calls. by 3 am i was down in theatre..  Couldn't even ring hubby for fear of waking the children.  everything had gone so fast.

I remember waking up afterwards feeling the blood pressure cuffs on my legs.. and i felt so much better like tons better, it could have been the meds i had been given. but the sickness and pain were gone. I can't remember any conversations with the nurses and was taken back up by 6... as i found a fb message i sent to hubby.. at 6.   I was told at some very early morning that it was definitely appendicitis and it had gone gangrene.. and there was pus in my pelvis! .. not good. But good job they caught it when they did and that i was brave... I didn't have much choice. I couldn't sit and cry i couldn't go home. It had to be done! One of the ladies on the ward just said, aww you said in a little quiet voice ok.. when told you were going to surgery. I think i was just fed up by then, i knew it needed to be done and i was resigned to the fact, and i didn't want to be in pain any more!

Felt ok throughout friday! lots of meds and i was able to get in and out of bed, but was allowed to drink and kept it down, and a cup of tea ! and we worked up to soup for lunch and something light for tea and ice cream.. which i managed a small portion.

Got home on sat afternoon after  pressing them a bit. I didn't want to stay i wanted to be at home with the kids and hubby with my blankets and quilt and people i knew. been told to expect infections in my wound sites thanks to the nature of my infection but on a course of strong anti biotics and pain meds and have to visit the nurse at the gp!

Told not to over do it and i'm trying not to, its been hard trying to get sleep trying to get comfortable and honestly.. why don't they tell you about the bloating and wind? blurgh.. its annoying! 3 days since op and my appetite is not here, .. which for a foodie is disturbing. i've drank so much water and had enough meds to last a while but have to keep going. I know its going to take a while to be 100% and trying to do things bare minimum.  though hard when i'm normally in and out or walking or something!

Least i won't get appendicitis again! but i will know what to look for if anyone else in the house or i know gets it!

The ups and downs of an Air show

This last weekend we went to the Bournemouth Air show! I haven't been to an Air show since I was rather little and even then I'm not sure, as my memory is rather shot due to my dyspraxia. ( Which is always fun when people are trying to tell you things and you forget and you've forgotten most of your child hood and it takes your older sister to remind you of alot of things! Sure I've blanked alot out for various reasons!)

Anyway decided we would go as one, it is a free event, two we have free bus travel and three it should be fun!! I took the children by myself on the Friday and ended up standing close to the Pier as I didn't want to wander to far down the Prom and it was busy as it was rather sunny ( I got rather sun burned! ouch )

I am very thankful that we still have the use of the British heart foundation Wheelchair as I'm sure madam wouldn't have lasted the full day with out it, esp as we had no where to sit after we had moved to go and get ice cream!

The children loved it! and so did I, Even though it was very crowded, I managed ( I don't like crowds)

Love how clear this one is! 

The little man's favourite, a Nook nook! (Chinook) 

The Red Arrows

Saturday display Red Arrows

On the Saturday after madam had been to a birthday party  ( which was stressful enough as we  wanted to go to the air show etc and she ended up leaving her allergy bag there!) 

It was very busy and  I was very stressed about it, however we managed to get a really good spot in the middle of all the action!  Perfect place! and hubby loved it, as he couldn't come on the Friday. It was Epic! we got to see the Vulcan fly past on its way to another event, and I've never seen such a big air craft! 

Really it was worth going just for that!  Not long after we decided to go as it was getting close to closing for the air show and I wanted to get on a bus without the crowds ( and people round here need to learn how to move a couple inches across a pavement when in a que.. when we were trying to get on the bus! heaven forbid we are trying to get a wheelchair on.. claiming their was no room, no there was plenty you just couldn't be arsed moving!) 

We managed to get home and even managed to get our own little fly over of a Typhoon and could see its display from home!  ( not that was noisy!! ) 

Part of me can't wait to go again, I would get to the beach at the crack of dawn to get a good spot if possible or even hire a beach hut because it would be so worth it!  However there is the down side,  and after we came home on Saturday we heard about the Shoreham air disaster at their own air show.  

This is what makes it so scary, a plane never pulled back up after doing a loop and it crashed onto a main road! It makes me sick thinking about it and my thoughts and prayers are with the families of the 11 that have lost their lives, people who weren't even at the air show. As fun as air shows are, the  danger to the pilots and others ( especially when in built up areas like Shoreham. It's just not worth it!  yes its exciting and daring and fun! but so so scary! People are saying they should be more like ours out to sea but at Bournemouth on Saturday there were apparently 1200 boats watching!  so even then they would not be safe even if the planes out out to sea.   The thing could be said about any dangerous thing, cars are dangerous, normal planes are, roller coasters air ( look at Alton Towers recently but i'd still go) 

Thrill seekers are always going to want something and people are always going to want to give as well. 

As much as I loved the Air show I feel bad for loving it with what happened at Shoreham.  Not sure how I could get over this feeling I just hope some answers may be found so that  future events could be made safer if possible!