you know when...

Things just seem to be going awry? nothing seems to really go your way or something just sets you off in a bad mood? I feels like one of those days today or rather one of those months! Today I just can't shake the bad mood feeling, the failure feeling, I want to get myself by the shoulders and give them a good shake but it wouldn't change things.

I would like some good news for a change, something to go in our favour, anything! don't care if its a lottery win or just something good!

I have mentioned previously how i hated form filling and that of a particular government form? well we got knocked back for our renewal which means two parts of our money were stopped. Which technically means we are down by a wage in the house. It's a lot of money that we are currently missing and  with Christmas coming up all i can see is decorations and things for the family that I can't pick up and can't even bother to look at because  there is no point. All of any extra money we have is being spent on the very tightly reigned food shop. Not that it is bad to reign ourselves in a bit but  it was tight enough as it was!  Our renewal was knocked back on the basis of the very vague report the gp sent in, late mind you i was hounding them over it and god i wished i hadn't bothered!! they didn't bother to get in touch with one of the main people my daughter sees, her dermatologist. I feel like taking people's heads and hitting it against a wall for all the aggrivation they have caused! So we are appealing the decision but need to get dermatologist to write a letter, she has and she's sent it.. has it arrived here??? nooooooo twice they've sent it out and no sign of the bloody thing! i've checked the address too. At this rate i will have to personally go and pick it up! and might send it on as a recorded delivery so i know it's got there! Royal mail are a total waste of space imo!

They (DLA) are telling us that our 6 year old girl can basically care for herself, so  would you trust a child to put on cream to all over her body, hard to reach places etc and rub it in properly, steroid creams which are potent, inhalers, nasel spray, anti histamines, bandages when needed etc? hell i've been told some adults can't even handle their care and so they expect my daughter too and that it is no greater then any other 6 yr old. Erm... pardon? how many other 6 year olds are waking up in the night hysterical over leg/ joint pain, or are tearing at their skin trying to claw it off because it is itchy and not caring if it bleeds. I couldn't cope with that as an adult!  It is alot of work and care that goes into her care not that i begrudge doing it but i don't have to do this much effort with the 21 month old! It's heart breaking! she suffers so much and yet she doesn't let on when it comes to things like this, yes if she falls over the world is ending but eczema itchy? not bothering her.
On top of all that her asthma has been plaguing her ! and after two weeks dr still says it is tight, winter is going to be a bug bear i think!


So on top of that the little boy has been ill for the last 5 weeks, firstly it was hand foot and mouth, straight after that he got a chesty cough that hasn't left him for 4 weeks, took him to the drs ( didn't want to be fobbed off before hand) and found out that he has tonsillitis ... thankfully he takes his anti biotics without much fuss!  It is a bacterial infection and on top of that he has a viral infection, as he had a rash, was being sick etc. Then we have me who has been having problems for a while and got a phone call today asking me to go and speak to the dr who said that she wouldn't need to see me when i saw her on Saturday unless it was different... oh fab! and i have to wait for the news next Friday, nice way to spend hubbies week off work!!

Speaking of which there is an event on next Friday that he doesn't wish to speak about!! wish i could do more for it! not that he would let me and might try and see it as a normal day ... he wishes! heh.


There I think i might have got it all of my chest for the time being and don't have to keep explaining whats the matter. As well it's a lot of crap at the moment!!  It's hard enough with the eczema but with the rest of it? well  it's enough to make me want to go and cry. or eat the packet of biscuits down stairs! Either way ! over and out for today!

Mummy moments

Well another week has gone by and it is Saturday again!  swimming shopping the usual set out for today and the cleaning of a bus tomorrow ( don't ask!!)


Little man has a chesty cough with plenty phlegm to go around which is all coming out  now  must make sure i take lots of tissues with us today because yuk! not pleasant! We had a productive dermatology appointment last week which i forgot to mention. We got given a new nasal spray for all of daughters sniffing! and it has worked thankfully!  she still has black circles under her eyes but its better at least and her eczema is.. ok. Well as okay as it can be with her,  though picking is a pain as she has picked her head again grah!!!  i really wish she wouldn't. But least she has done it now and not earlier in the week when we had school pictures!! though her eczema on her neck was flaring. I will have to wait and see what the picture comes out like!

Have a few mummy moments this week:
Thomas being more aware of himself and telling me when hes done something in his nappy! well its one step towards potty training not that I am going to rush him, I don't plan to potty train him until he is past two !

Another moment, for those of you who don't know we are club members of Eddie Stobart trucks ( thanks to eldest.. and hubby :-p) and so we are quite happy to go looking out for the names. And even the little man is in on the act calling out "Bobart" when he sees one!  Sorry it's the cutest thing ever. Even sat on the couch at 6 am the other day with a little book of them he kept hitting my arm and going. " mummy, mummy... Bobart" pat pat on my arm. " mummy, mummy bobart!! car! (car transporter) " his speech is really coming along now and he is saying things more clearly! he might not  babble but he  does get us to understand what he wants.

Now for my super star,  my daughter is a good reader ( funny that this time last year she had only just begun to read) and now she has just gone onto lime stage books which are the top end of 7-8 year old books ! she has just jumped two stages again!  she is now on bigger books for school  and i do hope they don't expect her to read it three times! not sure  she could manage that just yet! Not sure I can keep up with her, i love reading myself but don't think i was this good so young. Then again dyslexic yada yada!

So proud of them both! I know little man is learning anyway but  he does take notice of what we say and takes it all in. And so i'll leave my mummy boasting there for now :)  even if her teacher playfully said my daughter was a genius lol. Scary ! hope she keeps this up

Seriously?

I dispair sometimes, the intelligence of humanity is bloody scary, or rather the lack of it!  I don't claim to be smart, not in the slightest, I have learning issues that do really bother me sometimes especially my memory and It is not something I can help.

But I try and read up what I can and get information on what I can, I don't boast to know everything but I think i know quite a bit when it comes to Eczema now and things. So much so i think about going into the field sometimes! but wishful thinking lol. But peoples lack of knowledge on the subject scares me, surely if your child has it you would go and look it up? see what people say? how they manage etc. Seems we are answering the same questions all the time.

But in the last couple of days I've found people don't even have the decency to read how to spell my name, Rachelle, look, not so hard its just a bit more then a Rachel but no I've had Rachel and then Rachael in the space of days and it drives me mad! Rachelle...Rashell (say as) not so hard is it? especially if you are reading it off a screen its not so hard to copy it!

Or being pointing out the obvious of things, well all i feel like typing is well Duh!! but i don't i restrain my fingers and don't type anything and so i've saved all my annoyed ness for here ...sorry!

I want to take some of these peoples shoulders and shake them. Oi pack it in, go and read up some things or go find the brain cell you are hiding because it is needed!!

Eeep

Alright, Alright I'm sorry its been so long, between posts. I just found no urge to do a post, or rather i wanted to do one then i had toddlers wanting to stay up or just no energy to go and post!

Now I know most are thinking er what do you do all day, you are at home looking after the toddler, well yes I am but my days are often filled with going to play groups, to school and back, to crafting clubs, and like today to appointments. Now for once we had a good night which has been a bit of a sore point lately. But last night but the little man down to bed and he was out by 8, he did wake at 9 but didn't take long to put back and he slept through till 5, now this might seem awfully early but we are normally up at half 5 as is with daddy so I counted myself rather lucky that i managed to sleep from about 10 -5!! first time in a long time.

Because even with our daughter, its hard to get a full nights sleep with her eczema and leg pain and whatever else, throw in a baby and that was just a silly combination. Not that i would change them for the world.

Daughter has been back at school now since September and its nearly half term ( one more week)  and she is enjoying it and doing really well. Her reading abilities are scary! that she is several years above her class mates.

Her eczema isn't doing particularly well at the moment, and i think its a combination of the cold weather coming in and the flu jab she had last saturday but thankfully we had a dermatology app and we are trying out some new things, as well as a nasal spray which now she is 6 ( birthday last week!!) she can now use because all i hear at the moment is her sniffing and its driving me mad so I don't know what she must think of it but she did say earlier her nose was hurting :( I wish she wasn't going through all this. It sucks to see her scratching so much and constantly at odds with herself.

So many school meetings and health professionals and things! blurgh!!

I shall leave it there for my first blog back after hiatus, normal weekend ahead of swimming shopping and usual veg fest lol. take care x

Thursday crafts and Friday Market

Thursday crafting sessions at the Library are back!! well we did miss last weeks as daughter was so tired coming home from school I just didn't want the fight having to go back into town etc. So last week we gave them a miss but yesterday we were back and these are our wares! hedgehogs! I apologise for it being upside down but you get the jist of it! and the bottom three were made out of old books and lots of folding. Which daughter took forever with and didn't want any help ( hers is the silver nosed one. one of mines eyes had been pulled off by a toddler...)  I enjoyed doing them! and for once little man did not scream the place down and was happy helping me or playing on my phone ( No i don't care would you rather he screamed?) 

Also go to try out a new little play group as our regular one wasn't open, though yah for it being back on next week! bonus point of going to this new one was something a little different and though this doesn't happen often we got free cake! cookie cheesecake omg yes please!! I'm a pig  and need my plus points! 

Today me and the little man went to the Market in Hindley and it was really nice, its slow at the moment and only a couple of stalls but the more people that go, the more stalls will come so come on!! got some tea tree soap, cakey ( very nice cakey!) biscuits, scone and free tea cakes also some eggs.  The eggs are lovely, normally with store bought eggs I've had some tummy issues but with these nothing, and normally little man gets hives and nothing with these. though today he refused the scrambled egg.. silly boy! 

These are fresh free range eggs! :)

Not quite sure where this year is going, its going by so fast! its fast approaching my daughters birthday in October. No big party like last year but hoping to do something for her. .. not wishing the year away because i don't want my little man to come up to 2 so quickly ! 

Sorted out a few issues with school and their duty of care, which i will go into at another point! And we finally have reading books home and little miss wizzed through them without a problem. Was rather shocked! but impressed all the same.

Alright will stop the mummy boasting, but its better then the pity party. Usual stuff maybe more on Sunday but depends on this horrible weather system! 

Sorry

Sometimes I feel I need to feel sorry for a lot of things, things that are not even in my control and I have no hope of trying to understand and interpret.

Firstly sorry for not being so up to date with the blog recently, just felt I didn't have much to say or just similar things and again didn't want to bore plus my evenings have been a bit hectic due to little man. I'm trying to get him into his own room or rather use to his own bed, and its proving a little hard. just because in the middle of the night i'm getting up several times and I can't and won't let him just cry as he will then disturb my daughter and then that is just going to cause problems.

I feel sorry I'm not the mother I think I should be, I get stressed far to easily ( which everyone can vouch for) but also have a lot to deal with. Not saying anyone else doesn't but feel really stretched sometimes. And we seem to have had alot of things with school, I worry that I am going to be soon as one of "those" parents pestering over little things but to me, they are not little these are things and after all they do come into Duty of care! which has been failed recently. So looking forward to this school meeting coming up. But with some talking with hubby we are going to do more family days out and events. I want them to look back and remember a happy childhood.

Partially I think I should say sorry for not being the friend I could be, I do my best, I do have a young family with extra care needs to deal with. I don't like to go drinking and clubbing was never really my thing. I feel I have lost touched with a lot of people and It upsets me a little. Would it be so hard to come for a coffee at the weekend? I know people have work, my children don't bite ( yet) but sometimes I feel i have moved a different circle when I haven't, I'm still Chelle.  Also I have tried to do the contacting but it shouldn't all be one sided especially when there are reunions involved.

And enough for the pity party for today! stay tuned for the better one tomorrow!

All so quiet!

 

Daughter showing off her lunch box with Iggy from Moshi Monsters

What a difference! daughter was off to school today and the volume level in the house was so much different! heh i didn't have children fighting over toys, no voice raised at children. No annoying kids tv well not all day anyway! It was nice to be able to get some time with the little man who was happy to potter around, play with the hoover and generally just be himself without fighting with his sister!

I was even lucky enough for him to fall asleep in his pram when we got home whilst i was doing the hoovering of all things! Can't complain at all really.

She seems to have enjoyed her first day at school and got a award for working so hard with her numbers ( I think they must have been trying to make first day back fun! she doesn't find it hard to count to 20 after all) though she is a bit disappointed that they have told her she is on the same level of books she was on before she broke up for summer even though they told me she was moving up two bands.. hrrm! not sure whats gone on there! I think they might just be easing them back in. But shall soon see what is going on though.

They have done well with her seat cushion and she has a set chair in class for her cushion that moves if she does depending on the table. The teachers had to be shown by another how to do her cream but least that has been done! as i do wonder sometimes how much they do it. Though bless one of her knees was rather a mess when she came home! and she promises me she was not sat on the floor with out it! .. we shall see there too.

   

Little boy's creation at lunch time, tuna sweetcorn melt with animal biscuits, Picture of him pondering
what to do and the last one Sid his new favourite toy from holiday coming up for a picture :)


Didn't do much with the little man today as my head had other ideas with a awful headache! but thankfully that has gone now! tomorrow we have a dermatology appointment and seeing as the remainder of spots are still there we shall see what she says!!